When we don't feel any Intuition

E Showing his new brother some Love

 

Being a mom can be so complicated. Should I do this or that? There is so much riding on our decisions! And it seems that everyone is watching us and our kids and if we make one wrong move, we are toast! Ok maybe not that severe but man it can feel like that somedays. That is why I am so gratefull for my intuition, my natural instincts to guide me in my child raising. But what happens when we just don't feel anything, no intuition, just clueless? Yes this has happened to me on more than one equation. Many times it has to do with my toddler's sleep. There are a million reasons your child may not be sleeping well and sometimes I don't even know which direction to venture to even start figuring it out. So what do I do in these situations? I take a deep breath and call upon my village and tell myself that it is ok to not have every answer!

I really think it does take a village to raise kids. At the end of the day it is up to us to make the final decision and to implement what we have learned, but before we can do that we need to learn. We need to call upon those that have done it before, our mothers, our mother in laws, our grandmothers, aunts, sisters and fellow moms. I also read books by the experts who know and love children. But sometimes after trying all of the advice from others and we still don't have an answer I resort to love, just loving my children through difficult phases. We are learning and growing through this world together. Sometimes we don't know what the problem is and neither does anybody else, but there is one thing I have learned as a mother is that this too will pass and our kids sometimes just need some love to get through this difficult phase. We will feel better as mothers when we share our love and our children feel better when they feel loved. Sometimes we don't have all of the answers and that is ok, but we always have love and I am confident that my children will not fault me for not being perfect but will be grateful that they felt loved!

Westin's Birth- It was hard work!

As I hold my two week old baby, I am not sure where to begin, but I know that I need to, before all the memories fade ( as I know some already have).  Actually after this birth I am convinced that women should write several birth stories. They should write one the day of ( as if we have time for that) and then one at a week and then 2 weeks and then maybe at 6 months because I feel like each day that passes I process it differently and I am able to have a new perspective. Overall isn't that what birth is all about helping to change and transition us into mothers, each day we continue to have a new perspective and insight into motherhood.

                Westin's birth story starts on April 24th, I was 37w1d and it also happened to be his dad's birthday and the day his dad said he would be born! I woke up at 3am to contractions but was eventually able to go back to sleep, when I woke up in the morning they were still there but hadn't changed. I went about my morning and noticed that they didn't increase but didn't change. I decided to call my midwife to give her a heads up and she decided to come over and listen to the baby. All was well and she felt like this was it. I decided to rest all afternoon and gear up for a baby that night, but the contractions never geared up and the following morning I woke up with no baby.

                For the next 3 weeks the contractions would come and go. They would start in the evening around 5 or 6 and last till I fell asleep. They would still be there when I woke up and would last until mid morning and then I would get the afternoon off before they started again. We had a couple nights that they revved up and had us thinking once again this was it but I always seemed to fall  asleep and wake up to no baby. I tried walking, we had sex, I visited my chiropractor. I explored the idea of homeopathy but ultimately I knew that this baby was going to come when he wanted to. The hardest part was the mental exhaustion, I worried I wouldn't recognize true labor and that my midwife wouldn't make it in time. I had lots of self doubt that my body would never kick into real labor. There were lots of days that I really was frustrated with my body and just really exhausted, I was tired of questioning each contraction and whether or not this was it.

                 My due date  (May 14th) and luckily I had been pretty tight lipped about the date, mostly just telling people the baby would arrive sometime in May, because seriously how many babies arrive on their dates? I really think we should just provide a range. On his due date I felt extremely exhausted. I laid on the couch all day and just let my son Emmett watch movies, finally I called my husband Neal and asked him to come home early because I just had no energy to do anything. I kept thinking this must be it, my body is resting before it starts labor tonight but no such luck, I woke the following morning once again with no baby! It is Tuesday May 15th exactly 3 weeks from when my Prodromal Labor started. I had a midwife appointment that day and I finally felt a clarity of mind. I remember telling my midwife that I trusted my body and I knew that it would kick into gear at some point and that I had survived this Prodromal labor for 3 weeks, what was another 2? I knew this baby was going to arrive by 42 weeks so I could survive another 2 weeks. I definitely still worried if my Midwife Rebecca would show up in time and I had slight fears about the baby not showing by 42 weeks but overall I had resolved myself that my body would figure it out.

                That afternoon I found some energy and decided to take my son to the beach. We also took one of his friends, who lives about 3 blocks from the beach, so I put both kids into the wagon and walked them to the beach. I must have been quite the site, pulling a 2 yo and a 4 yo in a wagon and being 9 months pregnant! One guy did stop me and say "wow you have your hands full"! But overall the walk and getting out felt great compared to my lack of energy the day before! I started having contractions again at the beach but what was new? I was used to this and just ignored them. We had a great time at the beach and then headed home for a bath and dinner. The contractions stayed but honestly felt no different from any other night so I ignored them. My husband had been wanting to go to the movies and honestly I think just needed a night off, the Prodromal labor had been a lot on him too, but he had been keeping everything together for me, which I really appreciated! After about a week of saying he was going to go to the movies by himself, his friend finally texted him and asked if he wanted to go. So after he put our son to bed he headed off to a 9:40 movie.

                I decided to go in and go straight to bed, knowing he wouldn't be happy if he came home to me not asleep, he was always worried I wasn't getting enough sleep. I laid down and noticed the contractions and wondered if tonight might be the night, but then again I had asked myself that for the last 3 weeks. By about 10:30 I noticed they were stronger. One thing I learned from this prodromal labor is that the frequency didn't matter. When they got so strong that I couldn't lay down then that's when it was the real deal. During the past 3 weeks I was always able to lay down through them, some I had to breath through or move my legs but I could lay down. At 10:30 I really didn't want to lay down, so I walked around for a couple and then forced my self to lay down, but half way through the 1st one I had to get up, this was the real deal! But I still was hesitant to call anyone. I think by  11 I decided to call my midwife, I could still talk through them but I couldn't lay down. She started to pack up and said she would call before she left to make sure they were still coming strong. I then frantically started searching online to see how long the movie was that my husband was at, I really didn't want him to have to leave in the middle, I could stick it out till the movie was over, but come to find out it is a 2 hour and 40 minute movie! He wouldn't be done till at least 12:20 and then another 15 minutes to get home. All the exact timing is pretty hazy but I remember willing myself in 15 minute increments to wait on calling him. I finally called my midwife back at 11:30, I couldn't wait for her to call me back. I told her if this isn't labor I was checking myself into the local hospital in the morning to get induced!! She knew this was it and was on her way. I got my birth ball and lit a candle and dimmed the lighs and turned on my favorite birth song and just soaked in the quiet moments by myself, knowing how special this quiet time was and secretly grateful that my husband was at the movies and at the same time so desperate for him to come home.

                In between contractions I typed him a very unalarming text message that he didn't need to leave the movie early but that things were progressing and he needed to leave as soon as it was over. I kept willing myself to wait until 12:20 when I thought the movie was ending but finally at 12:15 I couldn't wait anymore and decided to send the text. He wrote right back and said they were on their way, I had timed it just right and the movie had ended right as I sent the text. He then wrote and asked if I called Rebecca(our midwife)? I wrote back and told him that she was on her way. He told me later that he knew then that this was game on!

                Neal got home around 12:45 and we kicked into high gear getting the house set up. Rebecca showed up around 1 am. My in-laws showed up around 1:30 to pick up Emmett. I knew he would wake up if we kept him home and I knew that he wouldn't be happy to see mommy in pain so we sent him off with my father-in-law. My MIL Kaye stayed to watch the birth and my SIL Shelly showed up around 2am to film the birth. I have always regretted not having the entire labor and birth recorded from Emmett's birth. With everything in place I was able to really focus on the labor. With Emmett's birth I had been really focused and really private, I didn't want anyone's help. This time around I really wanted to include Neal more and really rely on him and his strength. The labor could not have gone better in this regard, I loved really relying on my Husband and his strength and his support, he rubbed my back when I needed him too, he got me water when I needed it and held me when I just needed a reassuring hug that I could really do this.
               

                The labor was really uneventful. I labored on the edge of my bed and then got in the tub. Oh the water felt so good! I didn't want to leave. At about 4am I felt something warm and told my midwife that I thought my water had broken, there was a little bit of vernix in the water so we thought it had broken. At about 4:30am my body started to naturally push and I really tried to open my vocal cords so that my bottom would open, it felt good to do that. After a while I checked myself to see if I could feel the baby but he still seemed pretty high up. My midwife then suggested I get out and try to go to the bathroom. I really needed to pee but didn't want to get out, but agreed anyway. When I got out my legs were so weak that there was no way I could make it to the bathroom. I started crawling around and then just peed right on the floor onto a pad, yup I did! I was then able to crawl into my room and leaned up against the bed in a squatting position but the pushing became unbearable, yes extremely painful that I started resisting it, I knew I was close because I kept saying " I can't do this Anymore" but I still didn't feel like my baby was low enough yet. I felt the urge to push but I didn't feel a baby. After a while with no progress my midwife coaxed me to the toilet so that we could try and get the baby to descend. I managed a few contractions on the toilet and then wanted off. She then suggested the bed, so that she could also check me and verify I was 10 cm and that a cervical lip wasn't holding things up. Like I said earlier laboring on the bed is beyond unmanageable my whole body wants to shoot out of bed, but I managed to lay there and let her check me. I was complete, with no lip but the baby was still high ( my first son was too at this stage, I guess my babies just stay high until I shove them out.) I rolled over onto my side and then I seemed to get a break, everything stopped and I rested. My midwife kept encouraging me to roll over and off the bed so I could try squatting again but I just ignored he,r there was a break and I was taking it, I just laid there completely still and then a contraction hit and I agreed to roll over and off the bed.

                This time while squatting I finally felt a baby coming down and the amazing pain that comes with it. Yes I said pain. For me the pushing stage is the most painful and intense thing I have ever experienced. I hate pushing, it doesn't feel good at all, it feels like my bottom is going to rip in two and I fight that urge which I know makes it worse. After my first son was born I was told pushing got easier, yea that wasn't my experience, it was harder the second time around. After pushing for a few minutes in the squatted position there was a big pop from my water breaking (guess it didn't break earlier) and then I finally felt the best and the worst feeling the head coming out and then the ring of fire, in which I screamed " oh there is the ring of fire!!" which my husband thinks is hilarious and is so grateful I have it on film! ( I didn't have the ring of fire with my first son, his head came out in one pop!) then the body started to come but I really had to push to get his shoulders out as well, after his shoulders came the rest of him just fell out, literally (Later I asked the midwife who caught him, her comment "it was a floor assist" he came out so fast that she caught his head but his little body flopped onto the floor, Don't worry I was only an inch from the ground). This is the part where I say I reached down and pulled him up but I seriously just climbed Mt. Everest and I needed a moment to compose myself before I looked out over the mountain. After a second I reached down and grabbed him, my sweet boy, the cord was around his neck so my midwife had to unwrap it before I could pull him all the way up.

                While I was kneeling on my bedroom floor holding him, I could hear a lot going on behind me with the midwives and Neal and after about a minute my midwife told me to push again and with one little push, out came my placenta, which was extremely fast, it turns out right before he was born I had a placental abruption which can be a very serious complication, but thankfully in our case, there were no adverse affects. Once the placenta was out they got me on the bed so they could focus on the bleeding, luckily after one shot of pitocin the bleeding slowed. I started to check out my son and his head and face were completely purple but the rest of his body had pinked up. Turns out he was stuck in the birth canal and his whole face was bruised. Poor little guy. About two hours after we got cleaned up we weighed him, this little boy wasn't so little. He was 9 lbs. 2 oz and 21 inches long. Sweet little Westin Lee was born at home at 5:53am on May 16th, 2012.

                In the hours and days following his birth I truly didn't want to have anymore kids, I didn't want to ever push a baby out again. So often in the natural birth community I feel like we talk about birth as intense or other terms but refuse to use the word painful and I know that for many women birth isn't painful. I actually really enjoy the labor part, it is intense but managed but pushing, both times I really seem to loose it at the end. Kicking and screaming and begging everyone to let me quit, really hoping someone will offer to take me to the hospital for a c-section, forget the epidural I am past that stage, but at the very end I do it, with my husband and my midwife cheering me on, but I do it. For me the importance of natural birth or the sacredness doesn't happen right in the moment of giving birh I am too focused on completing the task at hand (or hoping someone will let me tap out from the task at hand). It is those quiet moments when I am nursing my baby weeks after the birth and I realize that I have done it, I have climbed the highest mountain and it was painful but I did it, no one did it for me and I am so grateful that I did it because now I know that I can accomplish anything, there is nothing that motherhood can throw at me that I can't handle, giving birth to my children shows me that I am strong and nothing is more amazing then this female body that god has given me.

When your Needs and your Kids Needs Don’t Mesh

Glad I'm not the only one Tandem Nursing!

 

I’m a mom, who I would say for the most part puts my kids first, (I also fully understand that there needs to be balance in my life as well), but my kids are little and they need me and that is just fine with me. I don’t go out much without them, and my house isn’t as clean as I would like it to be and I don’t have the money or the time to do all the Pinterest activities that I would like, because my kids need me, and right now I wouldn’t have it any other way.

But E and I finally hit a crossroads, he still wanted to Nurse and I was done. Let me give you some background, E is about to turn 3 next week, and W is 8 months, so I nursed E for over 2 years and have been Tandem nursing E & W for 8 months. First let me say that if you asked me five years ago if I would nurse my child till he was 3 or if I would tandem nurse I would tell you “no way” but my parenting has evolved over the years and the more I have learned about the benefits of extending breastfeeding and ultimately about the benefits of listening to your child and their needs, it has landed me where I am today. Nursing E has been a great relationship, and while Tandem nursing has been tiring and really demanding, I think that it has been the best thing for E. I am grateful for the time that we had, but for me the time was coming to a close but E was showing NO SIGNS of letting up, he was happy to do “Nursies” whenever I let him (which by this point was morning, nap and night time) and while I was confident, I wouldn’t be nursing him till College I knew he was content to let it go a lot longer than I was. But like I said, my kids come first and I really struggled with stopping because I knew for him it would be hard and was he ready for that type of hard in his life. Neal & I discussed it over and over again for months on end, trying to decide when to stop and how to stop. E and I had had a great nursing relationship and if by chance he remembers it I wanted it to be a great memory, not a negative one.  There was so much thought into the decision. I was starting to become resentful when E asked to nurse, I wanted my body back, but for him it was a place of comfort and as a mother I wanted to comfort him, it was so difficult to resolve those two conflicting emotions. But after months and months of discussion I finally hit a place, where not nursing E sounded way more appealing than nursing him, I didn’t just sporadically feel this way, I overwhelming felt the desire to stop than keep going.

So after the Christmas vacation we came home and we let E know of our plan. We were going to have a “bye bye Nursies” party. We went to Target and he got to pick out frosting and sprinkles and a special toy and a sippy cup to put Milk in when he needed a cuddle instead of nursies. The morning before we went to Target, I nursed E one last time, not sure if it would be the last. I had planned to nurse him once after Target before the party started but he declared at Target that he was done. I was relieved and sad all at the same time! We came home baked a cake, let him decorate, opened his toy and sang a Bye Bye to nursies. E loved it, but we knew it wouldn’t be this easy. Going to bed he asked to nurse, we offered Milk in the sippy cup instead, the next morning he woke up and asked. We offered the sippy again. Over the next three weeks, E continued to ask for nursies on and off, with only a few melt downs, but I never caved because I knew we were in for the long haul and my Mothers intuition told me that he was handling it ok, none of the meltdowns were unbearable. But surprisingly instead of life getting easier, E got alot harder, since he wasn’t getting his comfort from nursing he now needs me to hold him a lot more, which isn’t always easy when you have a 10 month old that needs to be held.  He also had a harder time when I would leave home without him (which isn’t often).

If I had to do it over again, would I have weaned him, yes! Was it hard to put my needs before his, yes! But I knew that I had also given him a lot and for the greater good of our family, I had to do this. I understand that many reading my story may not agree that I stopped him instead of allowing him to stop on his own, while others will say, wow you did it for three years that was plenty. I vascilate between the two, but that is motherhood, finding the common balance for your whole family and using your intuition to find that balance.

Why We Don't Follow our Intuition

Just Because I love a cute baby pic!

This topic has been on my mind alot lately. While at the park the other day I was talking with another Mom who is also Pregnant. She chooses to birth naturally but in a hospital. She has been very curious about my decision to do Homebirths and has asked me many questions. While we were talking the other day she said "Do you ever wonder why we are the way are, I mean why do I feel the need to be in a hospital?" I was caught off guard and not sure what to say especially because I could relate but in the opposite way, I feel the need to be at home. But I really liked her question, "Why are we the way we are"? Why do I feel such a strong need to be at home and she feels the need to be at a hospital. My mind started going in so many directions and of course it brought me to the topic of intuition. I of course feel like alot of decisions coupled with research, prayer and education should be based on intuition. But how many of us are actually using our intuition to make decisions and what is preventing us from using it. Is it our intuition or someting else that causes us to be the way we are, and if it is something else, what causes us to go against it? After alot of pondering I decided that there are two main things that cause us to go against our intuition, fear and our own lack of taking responsibility for our actions.

Now I do not mean to imply that this Mom at the park is choosing to birth at a hospital based on societal fear, she may very well be choosing to birth in a hospital based on instinctual fear, which I DO think is very important to listen to. But that is the important question we must ask ourselves when making parenting decisions, are we following our own instinctual fears to keep our children safe, and happy or are we following fears that society has put on us? Are we the way we are because of Societal or Instinctual fears? Are we the way we are are because we are following our intution or becasue we are following a path that society thinks we should follow?

Let me explain, now I don't think fear is always bad, I fear my stove when it is on because I don't want to get burned, I would consider that an instinctual fear, which I think is a good thing. I know that if I touch the stove when it is hot I will get burned, I am grateful for that fear, but societal fear, now that is fear that I think can be harmful instead of helpful. So often as Mom's we are trying to do the best for our kids, but we also get caught up in the Mommy wars, we don't want others to judge our decisions. While discussing this topic with my SIL she brought up a societal fear that she sees often as a mother, her friends choosing not to discipline (or correct) their children, not based on what they probably think they should do but based on what they think Society thinks they should do. They have fear that they will be judged and choose to ignore their parenting instintcs and instead allow fear from society to govern their choices and their parenting.

I think too often we as Mom's (my self included) are following society based fears. We hear horror stories and we can become immobilized by those fears. Stories are helpful to teach us about different situations, but not helpful when we allow them to make our decisions. I would never want my happy Homebirth story of E to be the only reason a mother decides on a homebirth, just the same way I would never want a single bad homebirth story be the reason a mother decides to birth in a hospital. We should be reading, researching and listening to ourselves, our intution and then making our choices. Am I the way I am because of Societal or Instinctual fears?

The second reason I have found for lack of following our intution is that we live in a society of blame. Now this may come across as harsh but I think we have a hard time taking responsibility for our actions. It is alot easier to say "My Pediatrician told me to do this for my son, I wasn't sure about it but I just followed what they said." Too often I hear comments like that from Mom's. They arn't owning their choices. If their child gets sick, or doesn't pass a test, it is someone else's fault. Which I admit sometimes is alot easier to deal with at least on our own self-esteem level! But at the end it really hinders us from making the best choices for children, it prevents us from following our intuition. The decision your Pediatrician makes for another child is not necessarily the best decision for your child. While it can be scary making decisions that don't follow the societal norm, it is important that we do it, it is important that we follow our intuition and make decisions that are best for our families. How scary it would be if we allowed Society to dictate all of our choices but we keep allowing societal fears to make our decisions instead of our intuition, that is what is going to happen.

So what do you think? Is there a problem among your friends of not following their intuition and do you think these two reasons are to blame?

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Following your Intuition when it might take awhile to see the Results

My Little Explorer!

I love my motherly intuition and I love that I have learned to use it and respect it over the past two years, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still times that I question it or worry whether or not I am interpreting it correctly.  I am sure I am not alone in this worry, as Mom’s we want what is best for our kids but it also means having patience as we watch them grow and develop. (I should tell you now that Patience is not my strong suit!)

The two things that I struggle with are E’s sleeping and E’s independence. Overall I feel confident about the path we are choosing, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t times that I question our path or that we don’t make little tweaks and changes along the way. As I have wrote about in a prior post E is what I like to call my cautious child. At 2 he has Never crawled out of his crib, 90% of the time waits for me to cross the street, rarely runs away, usually waits for a hand to hold or even arms to carry him before he walks down stairs. E is going to make sure EVERYthing is safe before he ventures out, while for the most part I am grateful that we have yet to visit the ER due to an attempt at jumping off the table his caution for things has also caused his Dad and I to question our parenting.

If we take E out anywhere, 98% of the time he wants to be carried as soon as we walk out the front door, or as soon as we get out of the car at our destination. He has strong reservations about what might be lurking around the corner. Often times after a few minutes of carrying him we can coax him into getting down and exploring his surroundings, sometimes it takes longer, but usually he eventually warms up to the space we are in and will get down and explore. We have tried telling him that we can’t pick him up or encouraging him to walk on his own right away which occasionally works but more often than not it just makes him more upset and more bothered by the situation he is in. My motherly instinct tells me to encourage him to walk right away on his own, but if I can tell that he is quickly agitated to pick him up (not push him into a situation), try and make him comfortable and then try again in a few minutes to set him down. For the most part this has been working but depending on the situation it can take anywhere from 2-3 minutes to 20 minutes to get him to walk on his own. There are days that I worry that I am coddling him or stifling his independence but for the most part I feel that I am respecting his learning curve and his situation, I am trying to parent to his specific needs. Unfortunately it may be years before I know if this was the right path. Is he going to gain the confidence and independence he needs to be able to go somewhere on his own without me, I am pretty sure the answer is yes but I hate those days that I question.

The discussion of sleep will be Part 2. Stay tuned.

The Experts Vs. Intuition

Oh I love a Sleepy little baby!

I have read alot of books, blog posts, news articles, etc. when it comes to childbirth, breastfeeding and parenting and if there is one overwhelming thing I have learned it is that everyone has a different opinon and often even has different research to back them up. If you read one side of the coin it says one thing and the other side says the complete opposite. This is where my intuition has been invaluable. This is where I disclose things that experts would disagree with but worked for me. I am not saying that I haven't worried or been uneasy but I always ask myself if I truly am confident in my decision and when I can say yes, I run with it!

Tummy Sleep- When my son was about 2 months I couldn't get him to sleep for any longer then 10 mins. by himself, but if laid on his tummy he would sleep for an hour. I know all of the expert opinions on this, I know that if I wore him in a sling he would sleep well or that maybe he shouldn't be in that deep of sleep, but I knew that he needed sleep and I needed space. We were already Breastfeeding and co-sleeping at night so for me I needed a little space at nap time. So I let him sleep on his tummy on our couch with me always staying in the same room. I knew that he was ok because with everything that I knew about sleeping and SIDS I still felt comfortable to watch him sleep like this.

Vaccinations- I know this is a touchy subject, so I don't plan to dive into it but there is one thing I have learned is that my intuition was needed to make Vaccine choices. I read alot before E was born and can I say, overload! I finally read Dr. Sear's Vaccine book and I loved that he said that NO ONE is unbiased about Vaccines, you are either in some way or another pro or against. I decided that overall Vaccines were necessary but that the rate at which they are given to children made me uneasy. I have not seen any direct research that links to the number given at one time as causing many adverse effects, but my intuition told me that sticking my son with multiple chemicals all at once wasn't right for him and while I understand the CDC's reasoning to get as many kids vaccinated with all of the shots, it just didn't work for us. So with that said E is on a delayed/selective schedule for his vaccinations and while I have some info to back it up overall my reasoning is that it just felt right to do it that way!

No Peanut Butter till he was 2- I first heard this rule before I was even pregnant and let me tell you I thought it was pretty stupid, especially because I LOVE peanut butter and couldn't imagine my child waiting for 2 WHOLE years to taste the delicious stuff. But Emmett hit a year and I just didn't feel right giving it to him, but I just couldn't put my finger on why so I just held off. At 18 months we discovered he was allergic to black beans! What child is allergic to black beans?! So I decided that since black beans were a legume and so are peanuts I would officially hold off till 2 Years. Well 2 years hit and he tried it, not a single problem which I am truly grateful for but I wonder if I had not waited if it would had been an issue, who knows. But at the end of the day I just listened to my intution and I am glad I did. I could go on and I am sure at some point that I will but this is a good starting off point of things that I have done to follow my intuition and in each case am glad that I did.

Just another day of finding my intuition

What Happy Baby! I should preface this post by saying that I do not believe in the CIO (Cry it Out) Method. And for me that means that I have never let my son E cry for more than 5 minutes. He has always been a very easy going child so I trust him that when he needs something, he will let me know and I don't ever want to ignore him or let him think that I don't care. In our church when kids turn 18 months they go into the Nursery. My son went just fine the first Sunday but the following Sunday, he was not interested and began to cry when we dropped him, I agreed to let him "figure it out" for a few minutes but after that, if he was still uncomfortable I would go in with him. Well he wasn't so either my husband or I ended up sitting in the class with him. After a couple weeks of this I decided that Nursery wasn't necessary and if he didn't want to go, no problem he could stay with us but my husband really wanted him to go because he thought he would enjoy it, once he got used to it. We talked it over with many people and the overwhelming opinion was that he just needed to cry it out and deal with it. But that just didn't set right with me. How could I let him Cry it Out with strangers if I didn't even do that at home. I have always called E my cautious child, he needs time to make sure things are ok. He is not going to head right into a situation unless he knows that everything is safe and secure, as long as I give him that reassurance he is good to go. So after much consideration I told my husband that we needed to take him to nursery and not even attempt to leave and just stay with him the whole time for 2-3 weeks, reassuring him that it is fun to be their and allow him to interact with the other leaders with us watching him and reassuring him that it is safe. Many people disagreed and thought I would be in their for months and never be able to leave, but I know my boy. After 3 weeks we went to drop him off and he went right to the nursery leader without a single tear. He knew that she was safe and that he was safe and that we would be back. Once again I was grateful that I trusted my son and his needs and trusted my own intuition.